Thursday, May 29, 2014

Debbie Does Monsterland (F*ck All Monster, Book 1) by Emma Steele

When I say that I will read anything, I mean it. I'm willing to give the craziest and most bizarre stories a chance because hey, I might really enjoy them. I'm not saying that I enjoyed this read but I'm also not saying that I didn't. It had it's parts where I was like "What in da fack am I reading?", other parts where I was like "Oh for the ove of all things unholy! NO! NO! NO! NO! That should not be happening but it is because duh, it's in the title." and other parts where it had me cringing but cracking up with laughter.

At times I felt bad for Debbie because to be 50 feet tall with no reasonable size cock for a person her size to get off on must be frustrating and depressing. This is going to sound strange and odd but I pictured myself in her place and let me tell you, I didn't like it. Not one bit. Imagine being imprisoned in a room with your libido as high as a frigging kite with only say, a pencil or a toothpick to use to get yourself off. Impossible! They are too small. So small that your vagina would swallow them up, never to be seen again. 

"Being fifty feet tall, she has a clitoris the size of a watermelon: a melon packed with nerve endings. Her labia are giant sails, swelling with blood as if with wind, warm like the sun has touched them. And her vaginal canal-well, it's roomy enough to throw a party in, hang a disco ball from her G-Spot...."

^^^Don't you just feel for her? Gah. To have a hoo-haa big enough to hang a disco ball? A clit the size of a watermelon? (Are you wondering if it's a seedless watermelon too?)

Debbie also has to deal with all the scientist and doctors who wants to constantly take samples from her person and do all sorts of tests.  And let's not forget her pervy psychiatrist who jacks off to her masterbating during her "session". Where is the professionlism in that? Who does Debbie need to talk to so that he can get his license revoked?

Before you ask why she masterbates during her sessions, it is due to her uncontrollable hunger. The need to feel release even if it leaves her wanting more.

After watching a documentary about Monsterland and seeing some of the monsters in wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am action, Debbie yearns to be free from her cell so that she can make her way to them.

Book 1 leaves off when she finally reaches Monsterland. Will she get what she is looking for? Will she finally get the release she has been aching to have from Godzilla's cock? If you are iffy about investing a lot of time in a story which you are totally unsure of, worry not my fellow readers, it's a very short read.

I will end my review with this. Debbie does get revenge on some staff memebers at the facility that she is held in. Oh boy does she. It's cringe worthy too.

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